Times are hard. Folks are doing all they can to make a living and pay the light bill. Often, that includes owning several businesses in an attempt to corner a share of the commercial dollars available in any given location.
Unusual names for business are not unusual. Clever and cute titles can be found everywhere painted on signage or flashing in lights declaring a multitude of types of commerce.
The Girdle Garage, Get Plastered, Get Crabs Here and A Pane in the Glass are examples of crafty titles of businesses offering only a suggestion of the goods and services within. One of my favorites is “Sweetie Pie’s Ribeyes.” Now how could you pass that one up?
However, the ones that always catch my eye are the folks that are uniting a number of skills under one roof and identifying them all in the business name. Every state has these but I always get a kick out of noting the frequency of them when I drive down any Texas highway.
I’m told by a native Texan that one of the state’s mottos is “Bluer skies, brighter stars. Colder beer, wilder bars. A Denton, Texas establishment quite possibly proves at least one of those points.
Mable Peabody’s Beauty Parlor & Chainsaw Repair Night Club is a Denton landmark. It is the oldest nightclub in Denton, opened in 1976 by Margaret Hunnicutt. Morphing through a number of name changes, the now infamous name was selected as the result of several glasses of wine and great friends.
A food and beer store in Dublin, Texas is named Chigger Ranch. It’s a landmark and locals give you directions from there. “You go east from Chigger Ranch about two blocks and take a left.”
There at one time was a business called House Leveling and Livestock Commission. That fits right in with a few others in the general area: Hanson’s Egg Farm and Horse Training, Ellie’s Home-style Café and Welding Repair, Outlaw Bail Bonds, Steak and Sushi and Joe’s Liquor Sales, Auto Repair and Daycare.
Down the road a piece was the Western Store and Saloon that combined old and new signage into a business plan. I witnessed the hosting of their fourth grand opening since the first three went so well. In that area at one time, you could find the Everlasting Life Church and Livestock Auction. Services were on Wednesday and Sunday with a Goat Sale on Friday and Cattle Sale on Saturday.
Down the road from there was an old beer joint that had been closed for quite a while. However, the outside has been repainted and adorned with the silhouettes of shapely girls similar to those seen on the mud flaps of trucks, standing up but clearly nude.
Signage on this establishment declared it as “Spring Break” and on the front of the building was another sign that said, “Interviewing Dancers.” The place was in no way ready to open and there were never vehicles or other signs of civilization around it.
The locals are questioning where “exotic” dancers could be found among the “corn-fed” locals and the Lake Dwellers, the name given to a sect of folks who thrive hillbilly-style near the banks of the regional lakes.
It was suspected that possibly the business never had any intention of opening and someone was just having fun interviewing dancers.
Free enterprise will thrive.
Julie, writer-photographer-cowgirl-cook-rabble-rouser and grandmother, can be reached for comment at firstname.lastname@example.org.